Painful Memory
by alternrockerchick
Summary: In Twilight town, what would happen if Roxas knew about Axel , and their history? Would he choose to stay? Or would the memories be to much? Would he leave with Axel? For good? Slight yaoi, just a kiss or two. I own nothing!
1. Ice cream and the game

"Roxie! Get your ass over here!" Hayner called. I hate it when he does that. He just acts like I am a dog, following his command. But, just like every other time, I got up from my spot on the ground and walked over to him. He smiled, happy for a second, then punched me.

:Shit, Hayner! Why did you do that?" I asked, holding my arm. That really hurt... "You were supposed to meet us 20 minutes ago, Roxie." that is something he always does too. He just made that my name. Even when he is sitting on top of me, punching me until i am bleeding, he stilll calls me roxie. And nothing i do can change it. Even though, believe me, I have tried.

"Oh, right." I said. Why do I always do that? Hayner is the first I notice, and I say the most idiotic stuff too him! god, I'm an idiot. Finally, I noticed Olette peek out from behind Hayner. She always seemed to be right beside him. I wonder if they were together? What was the difference to me? It is there life.

"- could have Roxas pay!" Olette giggled. I really hate it when she does that. Oh, wait. What? I am paying for what? Say it out loud, Roxas.

"Umm... I'm paying for what?" I scratched my head, confuzed. Something about being near these guys does that too you.

"Have you been out? We are talking about going up on the tower. For our game. You could pay for the ice cream." Oh. Ice ceam. But...

"We have a game?"

Hayner rolled his eyes. "Yes, Roxas. We do. But I guess you get a surprise, since you dont want to listen. Now, where's your wallet?"

Autamaticaly, I answered. "Back left pocket, why?"

Hayner walked behind me. "Just wondering which side to gaurd from Olette." Then he reached into my pocket. I jumped about 5 feet in the air, making a very manly sound. I swear I heard Olette giggle again. "God, Roxie. What is your problem?" He asked, holding up my black and white checked wallet. "What are you afraid of?"

"N-nothing. Lets get going." While we were walking through Twilight Town, I wondered what I really was afraid of. He had practicaly warned me. But I still jumped. And even after we had been walking for ten minutes, I was lagging behind and my heart was still beating heavily. Or is it hard?

My thoughts were interupted when I hit a solid wall of camo. I stumbled back, and fell flat on my... ass. "Roxie!" Hayner yelled. He sounded like he was tired of this. I was too. At least I knew what the wall of camo was now... Hayner's chest.. oh god. His chest.

"Umm... did I hurt you?" I asked, finaly looking up. Hayner was doubled over. Oh shit. Wait, he was laughing!

"Did you hurt me? I should ask you. Look at your face, dude." My face? How was I supposed to do-

"Roxas? What happened?" Olette asked, running to get to where Hayner had stopped to drag me with had kept walking. Willing to bet she never noticed.

"what do you mean? I'm fine. Lets g-" I had managed to get that much out before Olette was right in front of me, shoving some cloth in my face. I pushed it and her away. "What the hell Lett?"

"Y-your nose." She is stuttering. Did I scare her? She said nose...

I automaticaly reached up and felt my nose for any breaks or anything. When I pulled back down, it had quite a bit if blood on it. Olette was ramming the cloth into my face again, and I wondered why I did so much automaticaly. It was like all of this was just some fake little life. Just get through it and you can leave, who cares if you enjoy it. But if that were true, I would have to have some memory of something...

_a black cloak. It is a little snug, but its the uniform. _

_"We look like freaks, _____."_

_"No, we dont. We look like the friggen kings of the world. Er, and the queens too." He always says that. Anything to make me happy. It is almost funny. After all that happened, he still-_

"Roxie! Roxie! Shit. Maybe he did hit me too hard." What? What happened. My head. Wait, why cant I open my eyes?!

"H-h ay n er?" I asked, every sound difficult and slicing through my head. I was on the ground. In some ones lap. They were shaking me... and they stopped.

"Roxie? Thank god. You just collapsed. Is your head ok now?" How did he know about that? Okay, Roxas, open. your. eye. easy... easy.... Oh, shit! that hurt!

Hayner is leaning over me. As soon as I opened my eyes, he smiled. I, on the other hand, grimaced. Everything was too bright. And he looked too relived. He already had my wallet. Why did he need me now?

Ok, now talk.

"What, happened?" good. getting easier. Wait, I was in Hayners lap! Isnt it the girl that usually comforts the injured guy?

"I dont really know. You rammed into me, Lett got the blood off your nose, we started walking, and you said something about your head. Then you collapsed. Did I do that?"

I wish I knew. What was that? That guy... I knew him. But I had been here forever... Why was it so painful to, to remember. Wait, I wasnt remembering anything! That had never happened! Wait, Hayner is waiting for an answer.

"No you did not. Your fucking personal trainer did, buffing you up too much." I said, laughing. I started to fet up, but Hayner pulled me back down.

"Roxas." Oh shit. My real name. Is he going to kick my ass??? " this is serious. You need to go see what happened. Dont just laugh it off, ok? You have to be ready fr the struggle tournament tomorow. Olette wanted to go get a doctor right now, but instead she and Pence went to her gouse to get her dad. But promise you are going to fo see a real doctor." When did he get so serious?

"umm... ok." I said, getting up. But as soon as I had gotten on one kknee, I got off balance and fell. Not on my ass this time. Just my side.

"God, Roxie. Stay." Hayner told me when I tried to get up again. He moved behind me and...

"Shit!" I yelled as my body left the ground. Hayner could pick me up that easily? Since when? Probably since I had stopped eating breakfast... and lunch... and sometimes dinner. But who needs it when you hang out with there guys?

"Roxas. Chill. You weigh less than Olette, I wont have a problem holding you up." He seemed so... calm about this. But we were in the middle of a..... street with no people. ok, fair enough. Wait, was that an insult? In Hayner talk, anything is...

"I do not weigh less than Olette." I mean, I had to weigh at least a little more! Right?

"Roxas, you really do. Do you even eat?"

"Of course I do. You see me eat with you guys all the time!"

"Real food. At home." How does he always do that?

"Uhh..." Niiice Roxas. Real nice.

"Okay, come on." Hayner said, as if he really needed to. I was still in his... arms. And we were going to where? "You are going to eat. Then we are ging to compare yours and Olettes weight." He said as he pulled out his cell phone, holdiing me with one arm. I squeked, yes squeked... and threw my arms around his neck. "And... send." He mumbled under his breath, finaly putting his other arm under me again. I did not like it, I just did not want to fall...

"Ah" I almost mumbled as he started rubbing my back. How does he do that? He is carrying me and rubs my back... is he trying to get me to fall asleep? Well... it is working...

"If you don' t want me to fall asleep, I suggest you stop doing that." Did I just admit that? Nerd...

Hayner laughed. I could feel the vibration in his chest, and I nuzzled a little closer to it.

"... or that.."

Again a laugh. "It will be easier to carry you through the streets." He was still rubbing my back... Than he started humming. I knew the song. Every one in our school had the CD. But it sounded much better when he sang it. I could feel the music... he was almost swaying me back and forth, but i knew that was just how he walked. I was almost asleep and I recegnized my favorite part of the song. "Simple and Clean is the way that your... making.. me.. fell tobight..." I yawned, and went back to falling asleep. So much for singing along...

What is that? Why the hell is Hayner poking my head? It fucking hurts!

"Stop it, . I liked it better when your arms were full." Ok, that was useless. most of the words were slurred. I think...

"Well, he is waking up... I can question him in a few moments." So Olettes dad was poking my head... what purpose did that serve??

_I have to keep running. Just have to warn ____. He has to stay safe. He thought this was going to be a vacation... it cant be, not while we live here. not when we are what we are..._

"Ah!" I bolted uprught, almost knocking some one in the head. "I have to warn him.. I have too" They were going to kill him. Why would they do that? They were going to kill.. me.

"Roxas... its ok. I got you to my house, remember? It was, like, a bad dream, dude." Hayner sat down on the couch beside me and offered me a tissue. I had not even relized I was crying. Shit! Point for Hayner again! I'm going to have to total them up for today... he has at least 5...

"Shit..." I said. out loud this time. I turned away from most of the guys, but found Dr. Lou, Olettes dad, staring at me.

"Bad dream, young man?" Wow. Thank you captain obv- well...

"I don't really know..." again, ADMITTING IT. Just shut up Roxas!

Lou hummed a few times and turned my head back around. he poked my head with a metal thing... i only know it was hard and cold, so i am guessing metal. Then he checked my nose... for something... and listened to my heart beat.

"Slightly accelerated, but that could be caused by the... dream or" he laughed... which actually scared me.." Ecxitment." looking down, I relized that Hayner was still right beside me. _And his hand was on mine._ I carefully pulled my hand away, and the doc left.

Hayner stood up, thankfully not seeming to notice the hand thing. "I am making real food to shove down roxies throat. Anybody want some?" Pence raised his hand. No surprise there. I really like the dude. But he is predictable. He could eat a million raman packages every day. I rarely eat two. A week. Wait, shove down my throat? Why does it take me so long to notice this?

"What if Roxie does not want food?"

"Then Hayner will drag his anorexic ass into the dining room and shove the food down his throat, as stated previously." Damn. Point for Hayner. That makes.. 1, 2, 4, 12. Hayner has 12 points. I have none. Damn.

"umm.. RoxAS might take a little." I said, making sure to prounounce the second half of my name louder. That always annoys Hayner. Point for me! But he also gets a point.... 13-1....

As soon as he left, Olette sat in my lap. ok... maybe she was a little heavier... OW. I must have made an actual sound, because she guiltily went to the other half of the expensive leather couch.

"Oh, god Roxas, I am SO sorry! I did not know! I promise I wont do it again!" How fast can she talk?

"Olette. Stop." finaly... "Not your fault. Hayner did not think I was lighter than you either till he picked me up" It really is kinda funny now.

"You are? Oh my god roxas, you really DO need food! Im going to go help Hayner..." She walked out of the room, mumbling something about a crash diet...

" What the hell?"I asked Pence, the only person still in here. It kinda hurt to turn my head toward him, but I kept doing it.

"She thought that you were weak from whatever is wrong with you. She had no idea of your weight. That surprised her. She cares about you. About all of us. And that worries her. And a crash diet is something where people dont eat for a while. We all know you do it. At least, a little. Except Hayner that is. But by the way he is acting I guess he knows now."

I looked across the fancy living room into the pure white kitchen, where Hayner and Olette where making some... thing. I think it was supposed to be goulash. But it was black... and orange. God, I was going to be forced to eat that?

Olette was setting the table with some paper plates. You would think with a place this expensive, they would have something other than paper plates! I mean, they had 3 maids, 4 stories, 6 bathrooms.. full of course, 7 bedrooms, 2 kitchens, a friggen penthouse attic, and god knows what else! I have been coming here for 3 years and I still got lost sometiimes!

"Roxas, are you going to walk to the table or do I need to carry you?" I hate it when he does that. I can't tell if he is sincere or laughing his ass off.

"That depends." oh shit. stop talking now. " Are you going to be humming again?" you kept talking.

I kinda paled. how could i say that? That was like, flirting. with hayner. hayner. I was sitting up when for the second time that day... you guessed it... my body left the ground.

"Shit!" Again with the is with me and squeking?

"No humming this time. But you really are light Roxas." I could hear the smile. And that worried me. holy shit, he was going to drop me!! " Hey Pence, come here." no. no. no. he is not seriously going to do that! "Roxas is getting heavy... will you take him while I go get some forks?" liar. forks are on the table. you just want to hear me squek agin.

"I'm not sure I can..."Pence started. I was taller than him. that would make it a bit akward. Plus, he was not the strongest guy around.

"Umm... I can walk you know. I was joking about...that. Just set me down."

"10 minutes ago you were passed out." aaannnddd?? "here Pence"

I was dropped, and Pence, i am guessing, caught me. I dont know, because I was screaming, with my eyes shut tight. As soon as I could figure out which direction a neck was, I grabbed it and was poked with... BOOBS??? Olette caught me???

"Ow, Roxas!" She yelled as I crashed into her arms... it was Hayners fault. He raised me higher before dropping me. She dropped me, and this time I just yelped when i hit the ground. I got up too fast, making myself way dizzy, and just walked to the kitchen. I slid into the closest chair, and wondered just how stupid my friends were. I could walk. I did not need to be carried around every where.

Then I noticed something I never did before. There was a smell of licorice just behind me, meaning that was where Hayner was. He was trying to sneak up behind me..

I turned around. And flashed a huge smile, right before a huge forkful of food was shoved down my throat. He literally was going to do that! Oh my god!

After choking and managing to swallow it, and glare at Hayner. It did not really work though. He is the one person

i cant glare at.

And, as usual, Hayner smiled. He put the plate in fromt of me and sat across from and Hayner sat on my other sides. And they just stared. At me.

"You going to eat or do I need to go back over there?" What the hell?

_Why does she keep cooking? You know that she is the most horrible cook of all time. _We were on the tower. With ice cream..._ Because, She likes you and wants to impress you. he told me. What? ____ likes me? Why? How?_

"Ah!" I yelled, holding my head in my hands. "Stop it!" I jumped up from the table, knocking into it, and ran deeper into the house. I could hear only one set of footsteps coming after me, and the smell of licorice.


	2. Familar Stranger

okay... running away from Hayner does not help whatever is happening. But I need a place to think!My lungs were burning and I could still hear his footsteps.

"Dammit Roxas! Wait up!" Again with my real na- oh shit! I dodged around a giant vase and ran through Hayners room. The place was covered in camo! Too bad I did not have any on... I could just jump into his closet and blend in...

I dove behind his couch, and started climbing into an air vent. We had done this a million times before when we were kids, but Hayner had gotten a bit too big recently. Smiling, I crawled up the airvent towards the roof.

_Roxas, how do you do that? Do what? I ask innocently. Like I never have any idea what he is talking about... You can always sneek up on people. Like a fucking midget ninja... Hey! I yell Just because I am not as tall as you does not make me short! You are just a giant! I told him, looking way up to his face. I was not even shoulder height to him. He just ruffled my hair and pushed me back into my seat, laughing._

"Augh!" They are getting more frequent... just get up to the roof, roxas... then you can figure this out.

I kept crawling through the dark. Every couple of minutes, having to stop because there was a huge pressure in my head. I had one cut on my hand, but it only hurt when I sat there, feeling for it.

After about 20 minutes, I finaly got to the roof. I pulled off the rair vent and crawled through. I did not bother to get up. I just crawled to the most secluded corner and sat there, with my head in my hands. What was happening to me? What were these, these things?

_Come on Riku! We are meeting her in 5! We dont want to be late! I yelled to him. We might have to be, Sora. Look at your face. Riku shoved me towards a small waterfall, and a saw another boys face. He had my eyes, he was my height, but he had brown hair, even spikier than mine. Who is he? Why cant I get out? HAYNER! HELP ME! HAYNER!_

I recognized being in my world again, but I still saw his face... Sora's face... who was that?

I rested my head between my knees, and started crying. I stayed like that about 5 minutes before-

_Axel... I am sorry. I did not mean to hu- my words were cut off by a kiss. Axel grabbed me, and slammed my body into his. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he started crying. I dont want to lose you, Roxas. I cant. I dont care where you go. I am coming with you._

I dont want this to happen anymore... I want it to stop! Please, god, or whoever is up there, make it stop! My head feels like it is about to explode! I dont know if I can handle this anymore! Where is Hayner?

"Hayner!" I tried to yell, but it ended up no more than a whisper. Fine. Plan B. I started crawling to the airvent again, making a note to thank Hayners parents for the design of the house. All I had to do was fall... The vent was coushined. I would survive. And Hayner Room was only one floor down.

I was on the edge of the vent, trying to make myself move, when I heard Hayner. "Roxas! Oh, thank God!" I turned around, towards him, and fell down. I tried to land on my side but i was not sure what side was safest

_How red do your cheecks get? "What do you expect? It is cold/" I told him, pushing him and his scent of spice away. It always clung to him. But that was good thing about him... "Oh, I bet it is not just the cold... I bet I could make you even redder" "And how is that?" "Another kiss" My checks flushed, and Axellaughed. He always did that too me. I could never get the better of him._

"Simple and Clean is the way that your making me feel tonight, its hard to let it go.." I heard some one say. Er, sing. And I could feel a warm, vibrating spot. I clucg closer to that, and the singing stopped. Crap. I did not want that to happen.

"Roxas?" The voice was happy... wait, that was Hayner! Thank God! Hayner! He can help. He can make me me.. get all of the images out of my head. I dont want to be Sora anymore. I want to be Roxas! 

"Hayner..." I said queitly, crying for the... third? time that day. Point for Hayner... a million more if he can get this out!

"Thank God. Are you okay? Tell me the truth. Did you break anything?" umm...

"I dont know... my head is pretty fucked up. but the rest..." I was shifted, and my hair was parted.

" I dont see any blood..."

"Not blood. I see, I saw..." I sank into the fabric of whatever I was on. Soon, a pillow was under my head... but it was uncomfortable. Who makes pillows that hard?

"It is ok, rocky." He said, stroking my hair "it is all gone." He took a deep breath, and I relized I was on Hayners chest. But it did not scare me or anything. I kinda liked it. He made a really good pillow. I hugged him, and pulled him closer, into a more comfortable position. I could smell the licorice really well now... "Glad you approve of my pillow abilities. Or are you just a hugger?" Hayner asked.

"Sshhh. No talking. Only singing." I mumbled as his hand began rubbing my back. Soon I would be asleep...

"Roxas." He said after humming for a minute.

"Hmmmm nmmm hmm" I responded, because that was all i could get out...

"I am going to pick you up now." He said as I felt him leave. I made a disapointed noise and was picked up. I was not fazed, probably because when you are this tired nothing can... I just snuggled into Hayners chest again.

_We were walking down a really dark street... it is raining. Me and Axel are holding hands. That is the only warmth I feel right now.. all I can feel. Suddenly, I stop. Axel stops when I do, but I still get pulled forward a bit. "Axel..." I say... barely able to talk. "I- i'm going to leave for a while.." Immediatly, Axel is right there in front of me, wiping the tears off my face._

_"Roxas.. you have to tell me. I can't help unless you tell me..."_

_I look at him, and trace the lines of the triangle tatoos on his face. "You can't." There. I said it. The truth. Axel can't help me any more... _

_Axel is angry now. "Roxas, I don't care what I have to do. I will fight to the death if I have to. I am going to protect you. Now tell me." He had that serious look on his face. The one not even Xemnas can say no to._

_"I am not even supposed to know..." I tried, still. I did not want him to know it... I just wanted to warn him I would not be here in the morning..._

_"Well, you do! God dammit Roxas! Tell me!" He was angry... at me. He had not been angry since my first day, when I fell off my chair in the main room. He had to go get me. It was far enough down he had to portal..._

_"Di-diz and some new guy are going to.. to kidnap me. They are going to take all my mermories. I won't remember any of this. At least, for a while. But I think some might leak through... so I'll be fine. I'll remember you in my little cyber world...." I was babbling. I always did that when I was nervous... But then, Axel clamped his hand over my mouth. It sent me back a bit, but he caught me._

_"Diz? DIZ? I swear to god, Roxas. They will not get any where near you! I am going to gaurd you, ok?! I am going to be right beside you the whole time! You are NOT going to just forget about us, about _

_YOU."_

_I moved his hand away. I did not want to say this but i had too. "Axel... I'm NOT me. I am just part of Sora." And I broke down there. I sank to the ground. And I could not move, ecxept for when I was crying so hard my body was shaking. "And starting tomorow, I will be dying. I am going to be disapearing. Slowly, but it will happen. I dont own myself anymore. I can only feel what Sora does now." And through all of that, Axel knelt down and held me. He started crying too, but he made sure to comfort me._

Crying. Who is that? Is it? Could it??

"Axel?" My voice sounds too eager! He will have fun with that... And it was a bit too scratchy too...

"N-no Roxas. It is me, Hayner. Did I hurt you?!" He looked at me, and I saw that determined look of Axels. He would wait forever for an answer.

"No. Why would you? All you did was..." I had to stop and remember.. it seemed like that was years ago. I remembered SO much about Axel... "Carry me."

"Ya. And a few minutes after I did, you started screaming, but you were asleep. What is going on Roxas? You have to tell me." Again, just like Axel... And i started feeling tears in my eyes. I knew he would never believe me, but I had to tell him... I had to let him know about Axel and Sora..

"Listen, Hayner... I'm not sure about all the details but... something is happening to me."

_ROXAS!_

Ignore the memory... it is just a memory.. wait, that wasnt axel... that was... DIZ?

_Roxas, you must not tell them!_

And hell I wont. "I have not lived here my whole life. I only figured it out recently. I have seen you try to figure it out too. Something about me does not add up. You look at me funny, and you-"

"What are you talk-" And he stopped. Literally. Everything around us froze, even him. The clocks did not tick, the hands did not move, the sound of Pence and Olette yelling my name stopped. .nothing.

_Come to the struggle Arena. Immediatly._

Why did Diz sound like a pissed off dad? ... And why did that worry me?

_"Okay, Roxas... I dare you too... "_

Ugh! Stop it! I already know about Axel, and Demyx, and every one else! Stop it! I know I have to go to Sora! I have to die today! Let me die sane! Fine! I'll go to the fucking struggle arena... if that will please Diz...

I took off running, taking one last look at my friends. I wanted to leave a note, but I doibted they would remember me...

I went throught the town, dodging Old ladys and carts. I hit one lady, but I stopped and pulled her back up... much to Diz's disapproval...

When I finally got there, I could see Seifer frozen in time, training for the match. Fuu was yelling at Rai about something... and vivi was... MOVING?! Vivi was coming faster towards me, running at me wit his struggle weapon. Now I knew that the littke guy was not very good, so all I did was step to the side. I dodged it, but he swung back around and hit me. That was IT! I had had TO MUCH happen in the past THREE HOURS! I was not about to let this useless.. kid beat me up! I ran by Seifer and grabbed the first weapon I saw... a traditional stuggle bat. I did a backflip and hit vivi right on the head. Hell yes! point for Roxas! But I was not about to show mercy. Maybe Diz was throwing me a bone. Doesn't want me to get rusty. Some of that might pass to SORA!

As I was thinking, I was hitting Vivi. One shot after another. He was literally twitching. This was worrying me for a second.. but then he pounced on me, comvulsing and growing out of his clothes. He was stretching and turning white! I started screaming and kicking, but there was no one to help.

"The keyblade!" I froze. Namine! "Use the keyblade, Roxas!" Dont say anything. Diz already knows you know about the orginization... does he know you know about Namine? Oh, shit! Vivi was turning into a dusk! How the hell do I summon the keyblade?! Then it just... happened. It exploded out of my hand, pulling itself toward the dusk. I simple let it do the work. The keyblade felt perfect in my hands. Like we had never been seperated. But this wasn't mine. It was all Sora...

Vivi exploded into a cloud of dust, and I started grinning. I had the keyblade back! Maybe I could get out!

"Roxas...?" The voice was tenetive... and it made me start hypervenalating. I turned where the voice came from, still forcing myself to breath, and clutching my chest.

"Axel!" I practicaly screamed as I tackled him. He still had the same scent of spice... He had not changed at all. His hips were still way skinny, and he seemed a it girIlish; his too red hair still stood up to ungodly ends; and he still had the same look in his eyes. The one with me reflected in it.

"I told you i'd find you. Oh god, Roxas. You don't know how long I have been searching..." Then a flash of pain went through his face. "Do you really remember? Or is he telling you this?"

"I remember, Ax..." I said, almost crying. We were on the ground, and I was in his lap. Just like what we used to do. Only we were in giant cgairs that were 50 feet off the ground."

"What is our bosses name?" He asked, a harsh tone in his voice. He really did not believe me...

"Wh-which one? Any one above your eight and my thirteen is our boss. But number one, superior, Xemnas, is the primary boss." I rattled off, like I had known forever.

Axel hugged me then, a hug so tight I could not breath. But the entire time I was just crying. Axel is back. Axel is here. He really can save me.

_Roxas! This man speaks nonsense!_

Oh shit. not again. please no no no...

"Diz! Show yourself!"Axel yelled, pushing me off him. He began looking around everywhere, pushing me into a corner and gaurding me. "Where the hell are you? You arent going to take him again, dammit!"

He appeared on the arena, smirking. "I have been here the entire time. But I must apologize. Roxas was not supposed to remember this soon..." He looked at me as if i disgusted him, and Axel moved a little closer to me. I knew he just wanted to help, but... would he really fight to the death? Why?

"Roxas, this man speaks nonsense. Trust me. Do you believe Hayner and Pence are just some figments? Or is this man, the one who appeared without explination the figment? What proof do you have to validate his statement?"

Axel tensed. I could tell he was worried about what came next. I heard him whisper "Don't let him decieve you. Believe what you think is real."

without missing a beat, I looked at Diz... which was pretty hard considering how tall Axel was. "The proof is in my heart. Axel is real, and he is right here. I am going with him." Then I grabbed Axels hand. I could hear the surprise in Diz's face. He did not know I had remembered so much. Then he recovered.

"Simple nobody. You do not have a heart."

"I hold half of Sora. Just as Axel holds half of his somebody. We have half of their hearts, and shape it to ourselves. We DO have hearts. And I am following mine."


	3. Following My Heart

"Roxas..." Axel seemed at a loss for words. For some weird reason, part of me was still taking points. I was going pont for me! Finaly! Then he let go of my hand, and pulled his down to his sides. "Does this mean you are coming to Castle Oblivion?"

"I'm coming home." His arms went straight out, how he holds them when he hold his chakrams. Then, his hands errupted in flames, and he charged at Diz. His chakrams were infernos, and he was yelling. "Stay. Away. From. ROXAS!!!" He charged into Diz, and would have slashed him in half if he had not teleported. I pulled out my keyblade, the old rythym of our fighting. Diz appeared right in front of me, leaning in to talk to me.

"Are you sure? What will you tell Hayner?" He was trying to play on my heart strings! I thought he said i did not have a heart!

I slashed the keyblade downward, slashing his thigh. I always wounded them, and Axel changed them. But he was too strong. We knew he could not be a nobody. He would be strong enough to take over the organazation.

"Very nice, Roxas. Good to know that you have not gotten rusty." He said. I knew why he was glad. He did not want me affecting Sora. I went for his chest, but he just deflected my blade with a flick of his wrist. "But you never were as good as Sora." I lost it. I started just... hitting whatever I could reach. And he deflected most, dammit. But I got a deep cut in his chest, and that surprised him. Then Axel sprang up behind him. Axel was a really tall guy. And when he wanted too, he could be... well, scary. He used that power on Diz now. He dug the blade of his chakram into Diz's back hard, some blood dripping to the ground.

"You are going to leave. Now." His tone was dead fucking serious. Like, if you dont leave know something bad you have no chance to defend against is going to happen bad. I have never heard him talk like that. Axel had changed. How much have I?

"Certainly." Diz told him, looking up at him. At least I was not the only one that had too... He started walking away, and Axel went to get the chakram he had thrown at Diz. While he was over there, Diz teleported back, right in front of me. I screamed. Not blood curdling, just a AH! oh my GOD dude, you scared the SHIT out of me kinda scream, but to Axel it must have aounded a lot worse. He started turning around about the same time Diz slashed my chest, and drew me closer to his ear.

"This is not over. You will have to accept Sora at some time." Then he walked away.

"Roxas!Oh my god." I had not relized how much it hurt until he started PEELING OFF MY SHIRT!!!

"Fuck!" That teeshirt was embeded in the cut! It hurt like Hell trying to get it out!

Axel immediatly stopped. I rolled my eyes and took my over shirt off. It was fine. But my black undershirt was not. It was tattered fromthe diagnal slash it had gotten. Useless now, so I unzipped the zipper as quickly as I could, gasping as it went over the cut. I pulled out some alchohol from my pocket (what? I get a lot of bruised and cuts fighting Hayner) and started cleaning the cut. Axel just stared at me the entire time.

I finished cleaning the cut, and started digging in my pockets for a reaaly big band aid, while trying not to move my torso much. I found a roll of gauze, and started attempting to pull it around me. I could not wrap it around myself once. Which was pretty pitiful, considering how skinny I had gotten...

"Here..." Axel took the gauze, and held it on my side, where there was no cut. He lightly wrapped it around me, not putting to much pressure. I wanted to talk to him so badly, but he looked like such an angel, I did not want to disturb him... He was like glass... one wrong move and he would shatter forever.

When he was done, I sat down on the steps to the arena. We sat looking at eachother for a while, then he stood up and left.

"Axel!" I yelled. Please, no. If god had any mercy he would let Axel stay. If he cared at all for... nobody's. But Axel kept walking. I made no effort to move. Let him leave. I had probably changed too much.. I did not deserve him He really was going to fight till the death for me...

"Rox-ass!" Oh shit. "How'd you get here?" Siefer asked, coming closer to me. He had unfrozen, and was brandishing his weights.

"oh, umm... i was... uhh..." He kept coming closer... I could not fight right now! I could not breath when I raised my arm at all!

"I thought I told you not to come here anymore." He was using his bully voice. Where was Hayner when you needed him?

I started walking backwards, stubling off the stairs and, because i am a dumb ass, right into a wall. Seifer held one shoulder and sneered down at me.

"Not even wearing a shirt in my town. This calls for some discipline." He said, pointing to his hand made Disciplinarian badge. He pushed me into the wall harder, and grabbed the top of my arms, squeezing hard. "and i now just who can take care of that." He raised me up, which hurt like hell because my chest was being stretched out. I started kicking and yelling. Half the time I was yelling for Hayner, and the other I was yelling for Axel, hoping he would come back.

He started slamming me into the wall. My head rammed into it, and my vision shook. He kept slamming me , until two steps of footsteps warned him that people were coming. He slammed me one more time, the hardest yet, and I sank to the ground.

"Back off, Seifer!"

"Back off!"

Hayner and Axel? They both were there? I could not really tell, because my vision was shakky. I could not see my hand in fromt of my face.

"Who the hell are you?" great. they stopped fighting Siefer and started fighting themsleves... might as well put a target on my head for seifer. na, he wont need it. hell fugure out my defenders are busy...

"I am Roxas's friend, Axel."

"I've never heard of you!"

"And you are?"

"Hayner. The real best friend of Roxas."

Siefer finaly noticed the fact that they would be fighting for a while, and started kicking me.

"Ah! Stop!Stop!" I could not see at all now!

Finally, Axel noticed me yelling and walked up to Seifer, who was trying to kick my face in. Axel was right behind him, and he slammed his elbow into Seifer's head. Since Hayner saw that Seifer was taken care of, he went over and picked me up, carrying me to the vision was getting better, and i saw Axel dragging seifer around, thoring random punches and warning him not to touch any of the other people here ever agian.

" I-i wont!" Seifer was yelling. His face was a red mask... damn. Then my vision was blocked by Hayner's worried face. He was looking at my chest.

"You had time to bandage this...." He was mumbling to himself. Then, he seemed to have thought of an explination of it, and immediatly got pissed. "Did that new guy do this to you?!"

"Axel?"

"Who ever did it to you!"

"This was not Axel! Seifer had started hitting me with his weights back by the usual spot, and Axel heard yelling and helped. Then we went here. He left... and Seifer found me." The loe was smooth, I hoped. It sounded real enough to me...

Hayner seemed satisfied. He looked up at Axel and Seifer, whowere still fighting. "Damn. Will they ever stop?I think that dude means to go to the death."

What? I looked up, and Axel had Seifer against a wall, punching and kicking him. Siefer was... screaming. I had never heard Seifer scream. But I knnew Axel was about to take out his chakrams. He was in his stance... If he brought those out, he really would kill Seifer. That is what those are used for!

"Axel!" I yelled. trying to get his attention. That did not work, so I stood up. My legs were still shaky, but after all of the time I had been unsteady, I figured I would get used to it.

I took off running, to the other end of the auditorium. And it was pretty big. Something about being out side makes it feel bigger too... When I got to Axel, his hands were flames agian, and Seifer was actually cowering. He had never seen anything llike Axel or me...

I grabbed his arm, using what strenght I had to pull it away. Either he got stronger, or not eating a lot really does mess with you... cuz I barely pulled him. But he jerked towards me, his arms swinging. That swung my too, and my feet actually left the ground. When I landed, which did not really take more than a second, i led him away from Hayner and Seifer.

"Axel, this is not one of our missions. He is good, ok? Lets just go over to Hayner." He really did not want too, but he started walking with me over to Hayner. I never let go of his arm. But it felt kinda good, except for when Hayner stared at me clutching him. I let go. I always had issues with people seeing stuff like that... even if it was not much.

Wothout a word, I sat one step below Hayner, and offered Axel the seat next to me. He sat down, and we all sat there. I knew I should say something, but I have fugured out I am not very good at talking...

"Roxas, turn around." When I turned around to face Hayner, he held my face in his hands. I stiffened, and he laughed, but said nothing. Then he began cleaning the cauts on my face I got from when Seifer kicked me.

"No need. The first time he got beat up I went to my ship and got one of these..." Axel said, pulling a potion out of one of the many folds in his coat. I turned to him, smiling. He did not leave after all!

"What is that stuff? Is that some expirament or something? You are not using that on Roxie." He pulled me closer, and I winced. HUGE CUT ON CHEST????

"It is fine Hay. Ax knows what he is doing." I leaned towards Axel again, and handed him a tissue. He poured the green liquid on it, and began dabbing it onto the cuts on my face and hands. Hayner had moved to watch, annd was staring open mouthed as all of my cuts disapeared. Than Axel took off the gauze, and lightly put the potion on. With this one, i winced. i could feel the skin and tissie knitting itself together again. Thank god it was not a deeper cut...

"Thanks, Ax." I told him. Talking about coming for me and helping me with Seifer. He seemed to understand, because he nodded. "Oh, and thanks Hayner."

Hayner grumbled. He hated to be thanked. Unless it was for doing the fighting. "Come on then. Olette is worried sick about you. She almost had a heart attack. You can come to, Ax."

"Axel." We both corrected. Only i could call him Ax...

While we were walking, Axel asked the question I knew was coming. "Olette? Is this a girlfriend?" He did not sound interested, but I knew he was. Point for me!

Hayner slowed down to talk to us. "He wishes. She belongs to me."

"Belongs, huh?" said a high pitched voice behind Hayner. He flinched, and turned around. "Thats the last time I hold your hand." Olette told him, walking up and pulling his hair. He then went into a frenzy trying to fix it. Then she noticed me standing beside Hayner. "Roxas!" She yelled, and ran up and hugged me. And since she weighed more.... and her weight was pushing me... and I was not ready... well we started falling.

"Hey, hey hey hey hey!" Axel yelled, as we almost hit him. He held one hand out, and caught is before we fell. point for Axel.... Olette then let go, and stepped a bit away.

"sorry..." She said.

"Chill lett. Now come on. I need to prove something to Roxas." He began leading us all into his huge house. There were two scales set up. He really was going to do that. Hayner was unbelievable. "Plave your bets, who weighs more?" I was the only one that said I weighed more... I had to at least be a pound more!

We stepped on and Hayner walked by. It was far enough that I could not see olettes weight dammit. Then I heard some people walk behind us.

"The losers scale, meaning the one who weighs the least, shall show zero in three seconds." How? Some super cool automatic remote control?

2, 1...

"Ah!" I was scooped up by someone, and after a second my scale showed there was no weight on it. Right on time... I turned my head, because that was all that was not being held, and saw Axel grinning from ear to ear.

"That was fun, but lets try something else..."

"No!" I yelled as I was thrown into the air. Axel caught me, and swung me over his shoulder. The ground was so friggen low down!!! "Axel.." i whined, hoping it worked. He just twirled me around, and held cradled me like a mother would her kid.

"Yes, my little roxie-boo?" He said, batting his eyelashes.

"I would like to go in the general direction of the ground, please."

"Oh, but of course." He said, and he sat down, putting me in his lap. I still could not touch the ground. But when I tried to get off, he wrapped his arms around me.

Olette was giggling like crazy.

"Whats.. so funny Olette?" I asked as I struggled to get out of Axels massive arms. It is not that he was buff, it was just everything about him was longer, taller, and stronger than mine. Then Hayner scooped her up, and slung her over his shoulder. She shrieked, even higher pitch than me, and we all busted out laughing. This was perfect. I wanted to stay here forever. Just laughing with Hayner, Axel, and Olette...

At least it was perfect until Axel stood up, and I slid off him onto the ground. The ground was not that far away, you just could not touch the ground in his lap... Might as well have some fun..

"Earth!"I yelled, about to kiss the ground when I was picked up by Hayner. "Hey! What is this weird compulsion you have to pick me up?! Why cant I touch the ground!" I was throwing a fake fit, and Hayner knew it. He slung me over his shoulder, and when I looked around, I saw Olette on his other shoulder! God... how strong can he get? He was parading around the living room, and I saw Axel put a finger to his lips, shushing me. Then he was sneaking up behind us. Olette was not looking back, she was too busy figuring out how to mess up Hayners hair..

Axel was right begind us, and he plucked me off Hayner's back and put me on his shoulders. I grabbed ahold of his hood, and did not let go. This was tall! I was on his shoulders, and pretty soon, he had Olette in his arms. Hayner never noticed, the big idiot.

Axel cut him ff, and Olette and I waved.

"What the hell? How did you?" Then he tackled Axel onto his bed. Axel dropped Olette right before Hayner hit him, but I had to just cling to Ax. We crashed into the bed, and Olette sat there, just watching us wrestle. Within Seconds, Axel had me and Hayner pinned under him, and neither of us could move.

"Ax! Let up!" I yelled, petty sure he still could not hear me through the pillow my face was shoved into. The smell of spice from this close was almost overwhelming. "I tap! I tap! okay?" Finally, he let us go, and we sat there, catching our breath.

"Where did you meet this guy?"Hayner asked. This was going to be easier than I thought...

"You don't remember him? This is Axie, from pre-school! Although he was not such a major bully then. Or incredibly tall..." I trailed off, hoping I had given enough.

Hayner's face screwed up for a second, like he was trying to remember. After a few really tense seconds, his mind seemed to have created false memories for him.

"Axel? Dude! I remember you now! Guess you aren't the weakest anymore, huh?" Hayner laughed, and pulled axel into a hug. The end of which, ended in the two fighting over who could pick who up further. Good to know I was not the only person who gets picked up. It ended with Hayner being lifted onto Axels shoulders.

"Ok, ok,fine! Your stronger dammit!" He said, jumping off Axels shoulders and back onto his bed.

"Guys! Come here!" Olette yelled from the kitchen. "I made some food!" And for the first time, I was actually hungry.

Turns out, the food was the goulash from earlier. Axel ate it with pleasue. God knows how long it has been since he ate... plus, Axel has a thing for burnt food... Guess that it comes with the fire power...

I wolfed mine down, and still finished after Axel and Hayner. Olette was not halfway done yet. Axel looked down at his plate, sadly.

"Roxas" He looked up at me. "It is time to go, if you still want to... you dont have to, I mean this is your home, you have lived here your entire life! Why should you move just because your old b" He had started rambling.

"Axel."

Hayner had been watching us silently, but when I said his name, Hay stood up. "Well, nice to have ya, Axel! Come visit soon!" He said, walking towards the door. I took a breath, I would need it.

"Hayner." He stopped, and came walking back. "I am going with him." Axels eyes lit up. He looked at me like a lost puppy. A look I never really had seen on him, but it gave me the impulse to pet him...

"What? Oh, you walking him to his ship? Sorry, did not mean to rush, if you want some more food, guys..."

"No. I am leaving with him. "

"Roxas, stop joking dude! You know that you would never do that! That is just not.... Roxas!"

"Maybe not the new Roxas. But the old me, the one Axel knows, did that every day."

" What are you talking about? I have known you longer than him! You have been here for fifteen years! He has been here for... 6 maybe?"

I was getting out of my seat. Axel was hovering by the door, waiting for me.

"There is a lot of stuff you dont know about me. Your memories have been twisted. Do you even remember Pence?" He had disapeared since Axel got here. More proof this was fake. And it was unraveling.

"Who? Dude, you are not seriously going!" He was getting angry. And getting closer to me.

I walked over to the couch, holding my hands in fromt of me in a defensive position.

"Yes. I am going with him" I said, gently. What was wrong with him? He slammed me into the couch, and jumped on top of me. He put his face right in front of mine and started yelling.

"I told you! You cant go! I am not letting you dammit! You are not leaving!"

"Hayner..." Olette was walking up to us, and set a small hand on his shoulder. Where is my keyblade? Why cant I summon it? I was panicked, that was all... just calm down.. clam down...

Hayner pushed Olette away. Looks like she was of no help.

He put held my shoulders down, digging his nails in.

"Hayner, stop it! Your scaring me! Stop it!" I yelled, thrashing. I had to get away... where was Axel? "Axel?! Help!"

But when I looked up, it was not Hayner anymore. His face was... changing. "AXEL!!" I began screaming. Hayners face was not his anymore... it had changed into... Marluxia??

"Aww.... Axie, why don't you want to play?" I heard a voice from where Axel was.

"Larxene! Dammit! Let go of me!"

"Okay. Demyx? I need some help." I could hear the pout in her voice. She used to use it on all of the guys.

"Sure Larx." Demyx told her, "Want some water?"

Apparently she nodded, and I could hear Axel scream as he was enveloped in a wave of water. That was it! I pulled at the most secret part of my heart, pulling out all of my strenght, and summoned the keyblade. I froze Marluxia, and broke him into about 5 peices. Then water was poured onto Larxene. She yelled, and crumpled to the ground. To be sure she was out, I slammed the keyblade into her head. Then I rammed into Demyx, wrecking his concentration. Axel was realesed, and he was on the ground, staring at me. Flumes of fire shot out of the keyblade at Demyx, and he was screaming. I slammed my Keyblade into his head too, knowcking him out as well.

Then I went to Axel. He was still gasping, but he managed to get a few words out.

"Roxas! You- Marly- Awesome!" He could barely speaking, but I could hear him. He was complimenting me.

I went over to Olette, the keyblade still in my hand. She stared at it when I approached, thinking I would hurt her.

"Olette, its ok. Thse guys wont come back. I am going to take them on the ship with us. Hayner is somewere in this house, go find him. I will go comb through first. I will make sure that there is no one here, ok? You stay here with Axel"

I went through the house. I checked every closet, and every room. I found Hayner on the roof, half passed out. I picked him up, amd we went down to the living room. When I was back, Olette was crying in Axels chest, and he was looking at me for help. Hayner was now awake, and knew what had happened. He went to Olette, and took her from Axel.

I hugged them both, and took Axel's hand. Axel used his organization powers to teleport Marly, Demyx, and Larxene, and we walked out the door heading for Axels ship.


	4. Axel

We were passing the struggle arena when I started crying. I dont know why I was. This was one of the happiest days of my life... that I could I knew that Hayner was fake. But something about it seemed real.

"Roxas? Do you want to go back?" Axel asked me, stopping both of us. " Come with me only if you want too, got it memorized?"

I busted out laughing. That was his signature thing. It was always hilarious. Pretty soon. he joined in. And when Seifer walked by, he did not even give us a second thought.

We continued the ride, and worked our way to the gummi harbor. Axel led me to the biggest, lashiest, and reddest ship there. He then produced a set of keys, and opened the door. He stood at the opening, gave a formal bow, and motioned for me to go in.

"Ladies first, my good Roxane." He said, grinning madly.

I walked in, hitting him on the head as I passed. He scooped me up and we continued through the ship.

I stared up into his face the enitire time. Soon, a tiny beeping sound started. Axel looked at his watch, and a look of panic slowly spread over his face. He took off running down the halls, carrying me. He came to a passage with a million doors, and ran into the first one that was unlocked. He shut me in a half broken closet, and I assumed this was were he practiced with his chakrams.

"Axel? Whats going on?" I asked through the cracks in the door as he started pushing random furniture against the wall. When he turned back to me, his face looked calm, but I could see through it.

"Listen to me, Roxas. Stay in there until they leave. I need you to promise me that. They only want me. I am the one who killed-" He seemed to choke on the name.

"What? Who? Who is coming? Who wants you?" I kept firing questions at him, but he shut me up with a single look.

"Roxas King. Now. Tell me you are going to stay in there. This will tell you when it is safe." He handed me the watch. I could hear people yelling and crashing in the hallways. "When it stops beating, you can leave. Go anywhere except home."

"I-i promise. But you hide too, Ax! Please." I was sobbing, but Axels face really was peaceful now. He kissed my forehead, and stood in the middle of the room. His chakrams appeared, and some one crashed through the room. They were orginization members! One was even shorter than me, and the other was... Xemnas. What did they want with Axel?

The smaller one started fighting Axel, and in only a few minutes he was out-matched, and Xemnas was tying his hands together.

"Where is 13?" His voice was calm, and he looked around the room. I sank into the closet, stifling my sobs. They were not as bad now....

"I dont know. I could not find him." Axel told him.

"Very well. Xigbar!" He called, and the bigger, buffer guy walked in. He had his crossbows and aimed them at Axels head. He shot, and Axel never screamed. The last words out of his mouth was "Roxas, I'm sorry"

I could not help it. I started screaming, and charged Xigbar. He aimed at my chest and......

"Roxie! Roxie! Shit. Maybe he did hit me too hard."


	5. Big Brother!

**Hey, guys! I know I have not put any of painful memory on in a while, so I give you TWO chapters this time! :D Yes, I am a little proud I finaly got this part up. And I am ASHAMED I have not put this on sooner! D: So, here you go. Chapter five. (And I am trying to think of a name for the prequel to this.... once I have a name, I can start uploading that one...)**

** Enjoy the story! Consturctive critism is appreciated. **

Oh, god. My head was freaking SORE. I tried to open my eyes, and succedeed, only to grimace at the bright light. I saw Hayner hovering above me, and looking around, I saw that we were in the Station Hieghts Plaza. It was one of the rare times the streets were empty.

Wait. I was with Hayner. Not... oh god... Axel.

With that thought, every memory came back. Every second I spent with Axel, every day I wasted locked up here. I began sobbing, and Hayner clutched me tighter, trying to reassure me. Or trying to keep me there.

"Get off of me, Hayner!" I screamed, trying to push him off. He did nothing but hold me tighter. "Let me go! I have to get ou of here!" Wait, what if this is already Marluxia? What if Axel is already in danger?

Oh god, this is confuzing. The illusion has been shattered,no doubt about it. I know I am in a virtual twilight am I back in time, or was I just sent here when Axel... when Axel died? I did not know, but I knew I had to find out.

"Look , Roxie. What the hell is happening?! All I know is you passed out, and now you are freaking out! Maybe I should get Dr. Lou to look at you..." He got up and took me with him, dragging me through the plaza and to the residential area.

I struggled the entire way, screaming. Either no one heard me, or no one cared. Until we got to the struggle arena. "Hayner!" Seifer yelled, walking up to us. He looked down at me in his arms, yelling and thrashing, and he decided to take pity on me. "What the hell are you doing with chicken wuss?" He asked, a dangerous edge on his voice.

"I am taking _Roxie _to my house. As you can see, he is having some issues concerning his sanity, so step off." He tried to step around Sief, but Seifer punched him in the face, a feirce expression in place.

"Drop the kid, or I will make you." Seifer told him, wiping his fist off on his jeans. Hayner scoffed at him, and tried to walk around him again. Another punch, this one hitting his nose.

Hayner swore, dropped me and held his nose. As soon as I hit the ground, I scrambled to get up, yelping when my body left the ground. "Easy, kid. I am going to help you." He told me, whispering as he threw me over his shoulder. This did not really help. In fact, considering the injuries I had already gotten from him, this worried me. A lot.

So I tried to punch his back, furious when he did not even stumble. He needed to fucking let me gooo! "Rox. Just, stop, bro. Ok? I told you Hayner was bad news! Who knows what he was going to do to you when he got you to his house? You couldn't have fought him off, you're trying to hurt me, and I can barely feel it!"

"B-bro?" I stuttered on the word. "Since when have you ever warned me about anything? Except for when I was in your town, doing something wrong, and you say you are gonna kill me! Hell, you almost did this morning!"

Seifer stopped and almost dropped me. "What are you talking about, Rox? God, " He set me on the ground, right in front of him. He made me look up at him, and I was too afraid to think about trying to get Axel. Something was seriously wrong with the simulation, and I did not know this Seifer. "I might not, um, well, I can't express my feelings like you do so easily. But, I told you before. I do care about you. How could I not? You are my annoying little brother!"

My face went slack. I could practicaly hear my jaw drop as I looked up at Siefer. "What are you talking about? You arent my brother!" I yelled, pushing his hands away and taking off, out of the struggle arena, trying to find someone who would set things straight.

I could hear Seifer yelling curses behind me. He was yelling at someone else, probably over the phone.

We passed through Station Heights again, and I entered the station, dodging everyone that was rushing around, hoping I could lose Seifer in the crowd. I dodged around Hayner, praying he did not see me, and aimed for the closest train to me.

Looking behind me, watching for Seifer or Hayner to see me, I did not notice Raii at the enterance to the train. I crashed into his chest and he grabbed me roughly, holding me with one arm while he called Seifer.

I was screaming, and people at the station were stopping to stare at us. "Let me go! Someone help!" I struggled against his arm, trying to hold back tears. It worked for a second, but tears started pouring, and I saw a lady stop her husband. It looked like she was encouraging him, and he walked up, puffing his chest out.

I stared up at him in awe. The guy was bigger than Raii! "Do we have a problem, boys?" He asked in a booming voice. I nodded my head vigirously, begging him to help me, and Seifer walked up.

"What the hell did you _do_ Raii?!" He screamed, ripping me from Raii's arms. The guy looked at us, confuzed. I screamed again and tried to get out of his grip, but it was useless. I just was not strong enough.

"P-please..." I looked up at the guy, begging again for his help. My body sagged in Seifer's arms, until he apologized to the guy and tried to drag me. I came to life, kicking and screaming and digging my nails into his broad arms. "NO! NO! I AM NOT GOING WITH YOU!" The scream ripped from my throat, and the guy stormed over to us, glaring at Seifer.

"Drop the fucking kid." He told Seifer, and a couple of other guys joined him. "None of us want to hurt you, but we will if you take one more step with that kid." Several of the other guys agreed.

"Hell ya I wanna hurt him! If he is going to kidnap some 13 year old, who is to say any of our kids are safe?" One of the guys yelled, and he got some of the guys on his side.

"One, he is 15." Seifer corrected them. "And two, this is my younger brother. He-" His words were cut off as I kicked in a...... particularly painful spot. I winced for Seifer, and he groaned and dropped to the ground.

I ran forward and a lady caught me and hugged me to her chest. "It is okay, honey." she cooed, and several other women joined in. Seifer was practiccaly crying, sitting on the ground ripping at his hair.

"R-roxas..." I looked over at him, hiding behind some of the women. "Please, just tell me what is wrong with you! What do you need?! I dont know how to help you!" He really was crying, on his knees. "Please, I dont knwo what I did, but forgive me for it! Just.... I want my little brother back.." His voice broke, and he sank into the ground.

"Honey, are you okay? The young man over there seems very convincing. Are you sure he is not your brother? I can see a family resemblance..." One lady said, and a couple of them joined in. "It is okay if you dont remember. You might have amnesia!" Several of the chicks looked at her like she was crazy, until she patted the back of my head and I winced. "He has a good sized bump on his head." She told us.

"I need proof he is your brother before I allow this to happen." The first guy boomed, walking up to Seifer. "Do you have any?" Seifer nodded, and got out his wallet, and handed a couple things to the guy.

"A-ask for his student I.D..." Seifer whispered to him, and the guy walked over to me. Confuzed, I got my wallet and handed him the I.D. I was handed a picture in return. It was one of me and Seifer, in front of the gates of the old mansion. We both were smiling, and Seifer had me in a headlock.

"I-I don't remember...." I told the guy, looking back up at him and handing me the picture. "That never happened." He handed me two , and I saw that Seifer and I had the same last name, and address. It said Seifer was 18. I hadn't known he was that old....

"Kid..... if you don't want to go with him. I will help you get home, or wherever you want to go. But if you want to go with him now..." He looked up at the clock. "I need an answer, because my train is about to leave."

"I'm sorry...." i told them, deflated. I could not fight anymore. I just did not have it in me. "I-i will go with Seifer." Everyone around us seemed happy with that decision, but I apologized again. "I really am sorry. I truly don't remember anything about Seifer being my brother..." The first guy, and who I assumed to be his wife, patted me on the back.

"It is okay." The woman told me, smiling sweetly. "Oh! And, if you ever need mine, or my brother Leon's" She motioned to who I guessed was her husband. Oops... "help, call me. Here is my number. Anytime day or night. Even if you just need to talk." Her card read Aerith Maxine ,Phycologist.

I nodded my thanks, and everyoen walked away. I got several more offers, and my hands were filled with cards and scraps of paper. Phone numbers and even more email addresses.

Seifer walked up to me, and slowly bent down, getting us eye to eye. "Here." He asked for the papers, and he put them all in my now forgotten wallet. Handing it to me, he offered me a hand. I took it and was hauled up.

"Raii." Seifer called, and Raii stood up straighter, waiting for orders. "Call our parents. And our sister. Tell them we have a bit of an issue. And make sure they kow not to trust Hayner." Raii nodded, and walked away, calling someone. "Now, " Seifer said, looking down at me, and giving me the nicest look I had seen on him. "Should we head home?" He asked gently, letting go of me.

I nodded, and Seifer began walking out of the station. I went to go after him, but a wave of dizziness and nausea stopped me. I swayed, and landed on the ground.

_*Flash* A man. In a black cloak. With spiky green hair and emerald eyes. "Roxa...." *End Flash*_

Who was that? I was sure I knew his name not _three _seconds ago... "Roxas...?" Siefer asked, slightly alarmed. "Are you okay? Did you slip?" He helped me up, and I fought another wave of dizziness.

"I-i just got... a little..." Covering a hand with my mouth, I ran into a bathroom stall. I slipped into the stall and barfed, heaving until I was dry. I heard the door open, and a cool paper towel was pressed onto my forehead, and another wiping my mouth.

"Maybe we should take a tram..." Seifer muttered, and my eyes shot open. I waved my hands and shook my head wildly, sure my spkes were bouncing. "Y-you don't want to go on the tram?"

"I-i don't think I like them..." I whispered. "But I don't remember." Seifer gave me a symphasizing look, and pushed my spikes out of my face, and wrapped me in a big, brotherly bear hug.

"I will help you. I don't really think you could handle walking. Maybe you cried a little too much?" Relizing my look, he hurridly rephrased. "I mean, uh, you see... maybe you are just really tired, after all that happened today."

I nodded, and let Seifer helped me up and out of the building. I half walked and was half dragged to the Tram, but I managed to get into it alone. Seifer and I walked to the back of the tram, and I clung to the poles going from the celing to the floor. Seifer walked in beside me and put an arm around my shoulders, steadying me.

The rickety thing took off, and I clung tighter to the pole, a small whimper escaping from my mouth. Seifer tightened his grip, and we rode the entire way like that, much to my dismay.

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	6. Meeting the Family

"Rox... Rox, it is our stop, wake up!" I woke up leaning against Seifer. People were staring, and I flushed and went to the exit, stumbling onto the pavement of the sidewalk.

I looked around, trying to absorb everything around me. We were in the residential area, near the outer edge. We were in front of a tram stop, and across the street there was a small skateboard area. Behind the Tram station were a few houses, all of them big and expensive.

Seifer grabbed my hand and led me to the nearest house. Pulling out a set of keys, he unlocked the door and revealed a bare enterence. There was nothing there except a coat and hat rack, and a small collection of shoes. Seifer stopped to take of his shoes, and he motioned for me to do the same.

When I had, he led me into a living room, where there were 2 adults and a girl who looked aboout as old as me. All of them were blonds. The girl walked up to me and Seifer, and she hugged me. "Hey, Roxas! How was school?" Then, looking at Seifers face and my confused expression, she looked up at Seif. "Wh-what's wrong?"

"Sit down, Namine." Seifer told the girl, and she let go of me and walked over to the couch. "I don't know the full story about this, but I will tell you what I know, and If Rox knows anything more, he can fill you in." I nodded, and the older woman did too, telling Seifer to go on. "I think Roxas lost his memory."

All of the people on the couch jumped up and began asking questions. Very loudly. I put a hand up to me head and massaged it, and Seifer quieted them. "When I saw Roxas, Hayner was litteraly dragging him, kicking and screaming, to his house. I got Hayner to let go of him, and Roxas tried to run away, and he was screaming when I picked him up. He was saying I tried to kill him on a regular basis, and he did not remember me as a brother, but more of a bully. He ran away from me, and caused a huge scene at the train station. That was when I heard about Roxas havin a bump on his noggin. I think he has amnesia."

Namine, I guessed her name was, started crying. "Y-you don't remember anything, Roxas?" She asked, walking up to me. "You don't remember me?" She looked really sad, and it pained me to say it, but I could not pretend, I just learned her name, I could not fake an entire life.

"N-not really..." At her dismayed look, I tried to soften the blow, and failed. "You look kinda familar, though." She walked back over to the couch, grabbed what I guessed was a sketch book and hugged it to her chest. She started sobbing, and I felt horrible about it.

_"Dudes! No joke! Let me in right the fuck now!" Some one was yelling. Behind the door. We let them in, and a guy in a black cloak, with an eye patch walked in. "We gotta go! Everyone is already ready! Except for 1, 3, 5, and 7. Now come on!" He grabbed my hand, but a guy appeared. He was really buff, and had orange hair._

_"Just, give me the kid, ____. I dont want to hurt you guys. SHouldn't be that much of a problem, right? You have only known him for-"_

_"NO!" A redhead screamed. It was the same guy I saw at the station... "You AREN'T TAKING ROXAS!" He screamed, and launched himself at the guy._

"Roxas, sweetie." The woman from earlier was hovering over me, a worried look on her face. She saw I opened my eyes, and she leaned back a bit, helping me to sit up. I was alright until I was almost completly upright. Then my vision swam, and I was seeing dots in front of my eyes.

"N-no. If I get any higher, I am gonna pass out." I told the lady. She motioned to someone behind me, and a pillow was placed under my head. This time, I was posotive it was a pillow. Considering all that had happened, I was going to be checking my pillows for years.

"He has been doing this for a while. He ws mumbling something last time, too. Something about tire parts, I think." Seifer told the chick, walking up from behind me. "Roxas, do you want to go to your room? It is a lot more comfortable. Trust me, you have the best bed in the house. You have had to kick me out several times." He laughed, and I nodded.

"B-but, how am I going to get up there? I cant even sit up, much less walk! I am not even sure I can crawl right now..." Seifer laughed and flexed his bisceps. "It just so happens you have a struggle tournament champion for a big brother. I carried you earlier, I can do it again. Just, stay still, okay?" I nodded, and he walked behind me. "Let me know if I hurt you, or if I should stop." Nodding again, I felt an arm hook under my knees, and one around my shoulders.

"What did you mean, I was talking about tire parts?" I asked Seifer, hoping it would give me a clue to what was going on. "I don't remember dreaming about tires. Though I don;t think that would be a dream I would remember.."

"Not all of them, you kept mumbling something specific. Uh, it was axel. You kept muttering axel. And once you said our moms name, Larxene. You should have seen her, she was going on overdrive, trying to figure out what you were dreaming."

"A-axel?" Seifer nodded. "It's a name." Seifer looked at me like I was insane, and I tried to remember more, liking the feeling I got when I thought about Axel. "H-he is really tall. Even taller than Raii, I think. And..." my brow furrowed in concentration as we walked up the stairs, and I briefly wondered how light I really was. "He has red spiky hair, worse than mine. And his eyes..." almost against my will, a small sigh escaped. great, so now I was like a swooning school girl. "his eyes are the most awesome color. They are aquamarine, but with a little more green mixed in. And he always wears this black cloak." I could see the image in my head. But, it was missing something. His face, it didnt look right. "I think I used to know him. But- I cant remember anything other than what I said. I know something is missing, but I have no clue what it is. It is getting kinda frustrating."

"And here we are." Seifer told me, walking into a room covered in drawings. "This is your room. Your closet," He motioned to a door to the left of us. "your bathroom," another door, this time to the right. "and your bed." It was covered in black and white checkers, from the pillows to the sheets. He moved me to where I was in one of his arms, and he moved the sheets back. Then he laid me in them, and covered me up. "You gonna need anything?" He asked me, watching me look around.

"Those drawings!" I yelled, poiting to three drawings across the room. "I need to see those three, right there." Seifer nodded and walked over, unpinned the drawings from my wall and handed them to me. I gasped, and ran my fingers across the face of the first drawing. "Th-this is Axel." Triangle tatoos. One on each cheek. That is what I was missing. And now, I could see him perfectly. But I could not remember his voice. I knew I used to look forward to hearing it, but I dont remember why, or anything about him other than his face.

I turned to the next drawing, and it was the same as with Axel. "This is Demyx. I used to know him too, but I dont think as well as Axel. " I didnt get the rush I had when I thought of Axel.

Then I turned the page, looking at the last drawing. "This is Zexion. I think he used to be with Demyx. They hung out all the time." I told Seifer, struggling to remember something more about them. "They were a couple. And they, they always used to make fun of me and Axel, saying we were gonna get together sooner or later."

Seifer laughed at me, holding his hand out to get the drawings. "Ya, you have told me they were in some organization... org 13, i think you called it. You said you were number 13."

I shot up in my bed, eyes wide. The simulations knew about the orginization! And I was starting to remember, too! "How do you know that, who told you? Where are my friends? The organization?"

Seifer laughed, and pushed me back onto the bed. "It was a book you wrote. And by a book, I mean a book. Over 200 pages. You said the idea came to you in a dream, and you had to write it. It was kind of an obbsession for you. You would sit in here and not leave or sleep for as long as you possibly could. I had to put you into your bed a million times."

"Where is the book, Seifer?! I need to see it!" I started looking around the room, learning the names of all of the past organization members. _Xemnas, the leader. He was bad news. Xigbar was pretty cool. So was Luxord and Larx- _

"At the local bookstore. And a few other book stores, too. But, if you really want to see it, we have a copy in the library." I started to get up and Seifer laughed. "You can see it _in the morning, _Roxas. Right now, you have had some pretty weird things happen. You need rest."

I rubbed my eyes, noticing how tired I really was. "But I'm not..." I yawned "tired.. I wanna read the book.." I slipped furthur under the covers, and Seifer laughed at me. "now."

Seifer slipped the jacket I had on off and tucked me in. "Good night, lil bro." He switched the light off, and I was asleep before the door closed.


	7. Escape Attempts

**It has been three years, two months, and ten days since I last updated, and for that I am sorry. In return the moment I update this I'll go right to work on another new chapter. Thank you to everyone who reviewed earlier chapters, and continue to read even though it seemed for a long time I abandoned this.**

I woke up with a start, forcing my body to remain still as I felt myself trying to go into panic mode. I did not recognize where I was, nor did I know who the voices around be belonged to.

"You cannot wake him, Namine." A woman sighed, stepping around the bed I was on. "He is ill. You remember his reaction to all of us yesterday. School would be too difficult for him. Now, you finish getting dressed and go catch the tram. I will take the day from work, and-"

This time it was a guy's voice, and I was able to recognize it. It was Seifer. "No, you won't, mom. I'm a senior; it won't matter if I miss a day of classes. I passed everything anyway, so missing one day won't kill me. Besides, I'm the only one he knows. It would scare him if he had to spend the day with a stranger."

The woman huffed, otherwise staying silent for several moments. I tensed as I heard her steps falling closer to my bed and squeezed my eyes shut, resisting the urge to roll away. "Why don't you ask him what he would like to do? He is awake now, and about to hyperventilate."

As she spoke the other side of my mattress dipped down, sitting next to me. I couldn't hold back the surprised yelp and I jerked up into a sitting position, swinging my fist at whoever was getting too close to me. Seifer caught my first with ease, holding my hand tightly in his much larger one and staring at me closely.

I paled and tried to pull my fist back. "I-i… I'm sorry, I didn't realize-" Seifer shook his head and released my hand, letting it drop to the checkered mattress.

"Hey, don't worry about it. I would have done the same thing, I'm sure." He told me with a sad smile, shaking his hand in an attempt to relieve what could only be at most a minor stinging. "I mean, you don't remember us and then we show up in your room while you are asleep… It's an understandable reaction." He shrugged and stood, walking over to my closet and opening it. He stepped in and started looking through the clothes thrown about inside while the woman turned to look at me.

She couldn't have been much older than Seifer, I wasn't sure why he called her mom. She had bright blonde hair pulled back into a low ponytail, with two strands of hair sticking up in what I could only think of as antenna. Her cyan eyes watched me closely as I looked away from her, unable to maintain eye contact. "So, Roxas, who would you like to spend the day with? Your mother," As she spoke she motioned to herself, gesturing with manicured nails. "or your brother?" A single red nail was pointed at Seifer, who was now holding a full outfit and standing only a few feet away from me. I jumped a little at his closeness and frowned.

Seifer set the clothes next to me and cleared his throat. "If you want, I can show you your book today. The one you wrote, with all of the Organization in it." My eyes widened and I finally remembered why I was here. This book would explain what I left behind. It may even tell me why my memory was messed up. "Hey, what's wrong? You look so… worried." Seifer mumbled, bending down to become eye level with me. "Do you need me to get something?"

I shook my head quickly, blonde spikes shaking as I did. "No, I'm okay. My head is still just a little…. Fuzzy." The explanation seemed to please Seifer and he nodded.

"Well, don't worry about that right now. Do you remember how to work a zipper, like the ones on your jacket?" I raised an eyebrow and after a moment nodded. "That's all you need to focus on. Just go into that room with these clothes and change. You have a shower in there too, so you can do that if you'd like. But _only_ if you think you won't get all dizzy again."

He waited for another nod from me before moving out of the way and letting me get out of bed. I watched him and 'mom' warily as I rose out of bed, then grabbed the clothes left for me and ran into the bathroom. I shut the door behind me and jumped when I saw myself in the mirror. I was a complete and total mess.

My blonde spikes seemed to be several shades darker with dust and dirt, and they had clearly given up on retaining their shape. My eyes were puffy and had dark bags under them, and my face was covered in bruises. Dimly I remembered a fight with Seifer earlier, in the old twilight town. He kept slamming my face into the wall after I was left alone. My arms had several bruises from kicks that Seifer had given me. It seemed like all of my injuries from then came back. "No way…" I ripped open my shirt and gasped when I saw the deep gash left from DiZ. It was barely healing, and my struggled from yesterday had no doubt worsened it. The gash had to be at least a foot long, covering almost my whole torso. There was still dirt packed into it, and as I breathed I could see what little had scabbed over was slowly starting to bleed again. "Oh man this is bad…"

"What's bad, Rox?" Seifer asked, and before I could pull my shirt back on he entered the room. It was at that moment I realized I forgot to lock the door and I yelped, trying to turn away from him. I could hear Seifer's sharp intake of breath and he stepped into the small bathroom, grabbing me and lifting me onto the sink with ease. I hissed as my back was pressed against the cold mirror, but Seifer silenced me with a single heated glare.

His jaw twitched and his hands around my arms tensed considerably for several minutes while he tried to work through seeing the injury on who he believed was his little brother. "Jesus, Roxas." He sighed and pulled off his hat, running a hand through short blonde hair not so different from mine. "I knew Hayner hurt you, I could tell that from the bruises but… Slicing into you? That is a step too far."

"B-but this wasn't Hayner, he didn't do this! He _wouldn't _do this! He's my best friend!" I yelled, trying to cover the gash with my hands. Seifer growled and yanked my hands out of the way, trying to get a better look at my chest.

"Roxas, shut up." Seifer snarled, a look of hatred beginning that I nearly thought was directed at me. "This isn't the first time you've lied to cover for that assho- "Seifer cleared his throat and looked a little apologetic, and I was shocked to hear him correct himself. "This isn't the first time you've lied about the jerk hitting you, okay? So just be quiet and let me think." He stared at my chest for a moment longer and slammed a fist into the wall beside me, looking a little guilty when I screamed. The plaster only six inches from my face caved in and Seifer hastily pulled his fist back, mumbling promises to fix it. "Stay right here, Roxas. I swear if you have moved so much as an _inch _when I get back I will lock you in that closet where you can't get into any sort of trouble." Seifer growled, blue eyes narrowing and demanding an answer from me. I gulped and nodded, watching as he ran out of the room.

I groaned and leaned back, resting my head on the cool glass of the mirror. I was wasting time… For all I knew Axel could be dying. I had to make a move while I could still remember him. DiZ was winning; my memories of all of them kept fading in and out. If I didn't get to them soon Axel could be dead! And I would never know the truth… "That's it, I'm leaving. Axel's life depends on it!" I hopped down from the porcelain sink, hissing as my bare feet made contact with the tiles. I had to find my shoes…

I quickly grabbed the shirt left for me, a plain t-shirt made out of a worn cotton, and pulled it on. I had no time for Seifer to play nurse. For all I knew he would come back like the old Seifer anyway, ready to kill me for being in his house.

That thought was enough to get me moving and I slid out of the bathroom, closing the door behind me as quietly as possible as my ears strained to pick up even the slightest sound of Seifer coming. Once I was sure he wasn't close to the room I crept across the carpeted floor, grabbing the drawings of Axel, Zexion, and Demyx as I went past the bed. I snatched a pencil from a nearby desk and tucked it behind my ear then peeked into the hallway, thankful for my bare feet when I saw it was wood flooring. My sneakers would have made that impossible to do silently.

I held my breath and squeezed through the door, afraid to open it further for the possibility of it squeaking. I muttered a silent thanks for rich people and new floors, because the moment my feet made contact with the floor I knew it wouldn't be creaking like the older boards did. That made this so much easier.

I continued my trek with more confidence, running down the hall almost completely silently. I got caught up several times when I saw images of me in the photos I passed, doing things I nearly remembered. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a picture of me and Seifer at the beach and quickly looked away. I _knew _that had never happened, unless he was trying to bury me there. If I lingered on any of the false memories too long they would affect me.

"Hey, Roxas!" I completely froze at Seifer's voice down the hall, leaning against the wall and trying to figure out just what my plan was if Seifer tried to stop me. He had a height advantage, reach advantage, and strength advantage. He was trained to be faster than anyone else, and was the champ of the struggle tournament. I… I had remnants of training at the Organization, and a feeling of horror engulfed me when I realized I had no clue how to summon the keyblade. I was defenseless. "I'll be back in there in a second, don't you dare think I'm not going to hold you to what I said! Start cleaning that off, it looks nasty."

I fought to control my panicked breathing and forced myself to calm enough to think. I had to get out _now. _Only five feet away was the start of the stairs, and I could easily make that in only a few seconds, but what about when I got to it? No matter what I did, I would make a sound… And Seifer believed I was his ill little brother. There is no way he would let me leave if he did catch me…

Sacrificing a bit of silence for speed, I ran down the hall and slid down the banister, rolling behind a statue and holding my breath as I listened for Seifer. "Roxas, be careful! If you make that thing any worse I'm going to drag you to the hospital! And they will call the police again!"

Again? What exactly was going on here? Don't tell me the simulation turned this into some weird abusive relationship _thing_ between me and Hayner! That's crazy! "Roxas? Are you okay? You aren't answering me. You didn't pass out again, did you?"

I jumped up as I heard Seifer leaving the bathroom and looked around quickly, panicking as I searched for the door. Seeing nothing that could lead me to it I rolled out from behind the statue and ran in the direction of what I assumed to be a dining room, hoping to find some new way outside. A window, sliding door… "Roxas! Crap, where are you hiding? Come out, bro. I swear I'm not going to hurt you…"

The dining room had nothing of use. There was a dark wood stained table about waist high to me, with six matching chairs around the edges and several photos along the walls I refused to allow myself to look at. I couldn't risk compromising any of my memories, it could kill my chances of getting to Axel..

No windows, no sliding door. I inwardly groaned and made my way into the kitchen, eyes scanning the granite and stainless steel covered room. There was no door, but…Yes! There was a window, just above the sink. It would be a tight fit, but I knew I could manage. "Dude I swear if you have been in your closet this whole freaking time I'm going to kill- Uh, pull you out and fix you up… Ugh! Roxas!"

I quickly jumped onto the sink and forced the window open, peeking out to check what sort of landing to expect. On the ground below me was just a bunch of flowers, thankfully nothing with thorns. I mumbled a quick thanks to DiZ for not putting roses and dove out of the window, landing flat on my back. Okay, maybe I didn't plan that exactly like I should have…

I could hear Seifer in the room directly above me and tensed, forcing myself to stand and run behind a large oak tree on the property. As soon as my back hit the bark I could hear another window opening, and I was surprised to hear Seifer actually sounded genuinely distressed. "Roxas! Please, come back inside! I swear on my life nothing will happen to you!"

He stared out of the window for several tense minutes and then slammed the window shut, presumably searching the rest of the house. I waited another thirty seconds before allowing myself a small smile. I did it, I got out. Now I just had to find Axel. But… where would I go? I scanned the residential neighborhood, sighing as my grin morphed into a frown. There was a line of houses, all exactly the same as the one I was standing next to. All had flowerbeds, a tree, and in the front a small porch swing. I couldn't see the tram from yesterday and I had no clue which direction we came from… I was completely and utterly lost.

Still, that didn't mean I had permission to give up on Axel! I had to figure out where I was, get to somewhere Axel might be, and start searching. I just had no money, no hope of knowing if this town was even the same as the old one, and apparently no friends who could help me figure out where I was or where I could go.

"_Rox, it's okay. You just need to calm down, slow your breathing a bit." Axel told me, pulling me close and trying to get me to breath with him. It didn't work, but feeling his chest rising and falling grounded me, kept me from seriously freaking out like I wanted to. "Now you listen to me, okay? You are never actually lost. __**Never**__. You just got separated from me when we teleported here. It's an honest mistake, taking the wrong corridor in the darkness. It happens to everyone at least once. But the point is I found you, didn't I?" _

_I nodded, reaching up to try to wipe away my tears before Axel saw. "B-but I've been here for days. I c-can't see to get rid of the heartless… It's all darkness!" I could practically feel the guilt rolling off of Axel and he held me closer. After a few moments like that I could hear a small chuckle from him. "Axel, what…?" I winced and hid my face in his cloak as he lit the darkness, holding a small flame in his hand. _

"_I'm giving my little light some light. You light up my world, so I'm lighting yours." I couldn't help the giggle at the romantic line from him. It was just so the opposite of anything he'd ever say. "Now, come on. Let's get you home. And… Roxas? Don't worry about getting lost again. I will always find you. Always." With that he lifted me, holding me in one arm while he kept the flame going, lighting the darkness I had been trapped in. _

"Not this again…" I gasped, feeling tear running down my cheeks. "I remember everything, why do I have to go through this…?" I hastily wiped my eyes, ignoring the dull throb of pain in my head that I knew was just from the memory.

I took a deep breath and pushed away from the tree, stumbling for a moment before righting myself. I just needed a direction, a way I could go. Axel can't find me now, I have to be the one to find him, I just need to know where to go…

I searched the neighborhood again, feeling my last bit of hope dwindling until I saw it. The tram, it was coming now! I had never been so happy in all my life to see the stupid little thing. I quickly ran for it as it rolled to a stop, ignoring the pain worsening in my chest and head. I could get to Axel, with a tram I could get anywhere! It was just a matter of asking for directions now.

I jumped onto the sidewalk beside the tram, gasping for air for a moment before straightening. "C-can you take me to…. The struggle arena?" I asked after a little consideration. It was the first place I found Axel in…

The driver nodded and I smiled widely, setting my foot on the first step and preparing to get onto the next when I was yanked back by arms around my cut torso. I screamed from pain and shock, shaking and struggling against whoever was holding me. "Roxas, it's okay! You need to calm down!"

"_No!_" I screamed, ripping my nails into the arms holding me. "I have to find him, let go of me or I swear your eyes are coming out next!" I roared, nails now slipping in blood as I punctured skin. When I got no reaction from the arms around me I ripped myself out of their hold and slashed at the face, screaming in frustration when my hands were both caught by Seifer. He remained silent and backed me up, pulling me away from the tram. "Go. He's staying here."

The tram slowly took off, hesitation evident as the driver looked down at me uncertainly before deciding it wasn't his job to look after me. I watched the tram roll away, unable to keep the tears from flowing now. That was my only chance of figuring out where I was… "I hate you." I growled, feeling little satisfaction as Seifer gasped. "I hate you _so _much. Do you have any idea what you _did?!_ He could be dying and you stopped me from finding him!" I was dropped to the ground and I didn't bother getting up. I stayed there and slammed my fists into the concrete, screaming. "I could have saved him!"

There was a growl above me and I was ripped from the ground, pulled up to look eye level into furious blue eyes. "Roxas, don't test me. You are delusional and this is not acceptable. Now we are going back into that house, you _will_ let me patch you up, and-" He froze as I sagged in his hold, feeling complete and utter defeat. I couldn't get away from _Seifer. _How was I supposed to get past Lexeaus, Vexen, Xemnas, and now Xigbar? It was impossible. I'd never make it to him. I'd never see him again, I was stuck here…

I didn't react to being placed back on the ground, and I had no idea I was sobbing again until Seifer cursed and tried to wipe away my tears for me. I dropped to my knees as soon as he released me, holding my head in my hands and shrinking away from him every time he tried to help me. He kept trying to say something to me, but I couldn't comprehend it. My mind was spiraling into darkness. _Axel is gone, I lost Axel… I'll never see him again, I can't get out. Axel is gone, I lost Axel…_

After several minutes of silence from him he sighed again. It took a massive amount of effort to pull myself out enough, but I dimly heard his words. "And then… We are going to look for Axel. Wherever you want to look, we'll do it together."

I stared up at him in shock, barely able to make out the tortured look on his face through my own teary vision. "Can I help you now? I swear if you let me make sure you are at least physically okay I'll take you anywhere you want to go. Just please… Don't do this anymore."

My eyes widened and slowly, barely, I nodded. The darkness in me let up a little and I was able to make out a tiny light now, a tiny hope of finding Axel. If I didn't have to fight Seifer, at least I'd be able to search the town…

Seifer nodded and bent down beside me, wiping the tears that were still flowing. His tortured look didn't fade in the slightest as he gently picked me up, carrying me back into the house. I tried to calm my breathing and stop my shoulders from shaking with the sobs, but nothing worked. I couldn't calm myself down yet. I had to…

"Roxas!" I heard the desperate scream and looked to Seifer, thinking it was him. He seemed just as shocked as me, though, and I could feel his body stiffening as he prepared to run. "Roxas, it's me, I'm here! You- What are you doing with Roxas?! You put him down now!" Seifer was completely and utterly shocked, and when I followed his gaze I immediately understood why. Axel. And Xigbar.


End file.
